What 40 Days Without Coffee Taught Me

I never used to honor the season of Lent or know much about it. But since we first started attending New Community Church in Spokane, I've learned more about it. Our church is very youthful, non-denominational and has a deep respect for the liturgy. We dip bread in wine every Sunday in remembrance of Christ's death and resurrection. We light the Advent candles the Sundays leading up to Christmas. We also hold an Ash Wednesday service, and our kids were given Lenten calendars shaped like caterpillars this year.

Last year I gave up listening to music in the car and television the year before. I've grown and found new meaning to the season in different ways each year. This year I don't' know what I was thinking. Actually, I do. I thought, "What would be the hardest thing for me to give up?"

Coffee.

And as I contemplated this horrible idea for a few days, I had a horrible experience with my first and hopefully only kidney stone. I thought I was dying. And in case you're wondering, I would say it is just as painful as giving birth. But they're very different circumstances and experiences, that's for sure.

Turns out that dehydration is a leading cause of kidney stones. Since I'm a nursing mother and have never been very good at staying hydrated even when I'm not nursing…my odds were pretty good for getting a kidney stone. I don't drink that much coffee. One to two cups a day. But I was pretty motivated to drink more water and never have another kidney stone. Ever. So I said goodbye to that blissful, dark drink for 40. Long. Days. (40 minus the Sundays on which some people break the fast during Lent. And you bet I did.)

Apparently babies have a tendency to stop sleeping as well around 4 months of age. I never knew that and it's probably good I didn't know. It has been easier than I thought, but there were some especially difficult days. Almost every time someone asked me, "How are you?" I'd say something about being tired and sleep deprived. I'm a broken record and might be for another 18 years. But there were occasional days when I felt oddly perky and energized. It wasn't just a long drawn-out 40 days of sleepiness. I had normal ups and downs. The only thing I didn't experience was that feeling of being driven only by caffeine (exhausted but your body is still moving and you're a bit overstimulated).

It made me consider how sometimes we want to be stimulated and spinning on all four cylinders ALL THE TIME. We weren't meant to function that way. The downs are just as important as the ups. And when you're not depending on caffeine (or some other form of stimulation) you learn to trust your instincts and set boundaries with yourself and people. There is much to learn from moments of not being able to perform very well.

The other benefit I've gained from this experience is getting practice at noticing my cravings and saying no to them. I had a reason to deny myself instead of just basing my decision on my wants. It was strangely satisfying to be solely objective about it. I'd like to be more this way in other areas of life.

And lastly, I found this fast rewarding simply because it prepared me mentally for Easter. It has been meaningful to hold close the expectation of celebrating Jesus' resurrection. I love how fasting reminded me over and over about this perfect act of love that Jesus did for the world, which in turn made saying no to something as small as coffee pretty easy. It was in some sense a form of communion with God. Accepting and surrendering to His love. And that is what spiritual disciplines are really all about, aren't they?

Sacrament of the Moment

I love coming across and learning different ways people apply spiritual discipline in their lives. This is a section from the Mama:Monk blog, a guest post by Debby Bellingham. It resonates with what I'm desiring and learning on this journey.

"Jean-Pierre de Caussade in his book Abandonment to Divine Providence says becoming holy (his word – we might use the phrase to live fully in the Kingdom of God) is to “make a sacrament of the present moment.”

A sacrament is nothing but a common thing made holy by inviting God to be present in it. Common bread and wine are made a sacrament when we use them as reminders of Christʼs sacrifice for us. Water becomes a sacrament when it is used as the means of marking us in baptism. Bread, wine, water, in themselves are not holy. Consecrating them, asking God to use them or to meet us in the use of them is what makes them holy.

Your life may not seem holy, but every moment of your life can become a sacrament when you invite God to be present in it. Such awareness and activity will constantly connect you with the God of your life. Your goal, right? You want and need to live connected with the God who loves you.

Recognize that in each and every moment of your life God is giving you himself. Take this NOW and receive Godʼs love.

Your common, everyday life – work deadlines, feeding your family, conversations with friends, keeping your house – these are the NOWs in which God wants to meet you. He hides himself in these.

'The reason I speak to them in parables (hides himself in the commonalities of life) is that ʻseeing they do not perceive, and hearing they do not listen, nor do they understand…But blessed are your eyes, for they see, and your ears, for they hear.' Matthew 13:13,16

You are blessed because you seek God by faith, not by sight. The blessing of finding God hidden in every moment of your life requires practice. More tomorrow."

Returning With Thankfulness

This isn't how I imagined coming back to the blog. I wanted more of a BANG to mark a new chapter, ya know? I knew I would need something to compel me to write again on here, and funny enough it wasn't any of the wonderful or challenging things happening in my life. My kids, my work, the new business, the new house (16 days 'til we move!), baby on the way…it's all worth writing about and there is much I have gained and learned about the spiritual disciplines in all aspects of my life. I just couldn't pick which one to talk about or how or when. But I've been reading this blog called Mama:Monk and I absolutely love it. It's one that I MUST read every post of. This girl is someone I can relate to on almost every level (particularly in relation to my journey of the spiritual disciplines). Motherhood, spirituality, marriage, simplicity, creativity. She does a Thankful Tuesday post and is starting to ask others to write their own and link our blogs together. It's a way of having online Christian fellowship, and that's what is compelling me today to write a new post. Because Micha Boyett (Mama:Monk) had a good idea and I wanted to join in.

I am thankful for…

• my little boys who can hardly let me walk out the door in the mornings.
• people that can disagree and journey in love through that disagreement.
• God's surprises and the mystery of walking with Him.
• the incredible emotions of pregnancy that make me ultra-sensitive and reactive (as annoying as it can be at times, I love that emotions remind me I'm alive and human.)
• the greater depths of knowledge of our God that my husband and I are reaching together.
• the book our small group is reading together called Sacred Marriage, by Gary Thomas.
• crisp spring mornings that smell like the countryside.
• simplifying my home, design projects, my way of thinking, my hopes.
• change. It makes me hopeful and forces improvement.
• the people in recovery at UGM who work hard and face the darkest places in order to obtain life-change and walk with God.
• occasional time alone.

Lent

Since I'm on a blog sabbatical for the time being, here is a fitting post from my friend, Mary, on her hopes for Lent.

http://strangecapers.blogspot.com/2012/02/lent.html

The Discipline of Simplicity

The chapter I've come back to most since starting this book is the one that discusses the discipline of simplicity.  I'm drawn to and hunger for this kind of simplicity.

"The Christian Discipline of simplicity is an inward reality that results in an outward life-style."

The Inward Reality of Simplicity:

"Seeking first God's kingdom and the righteousness, both personal and social, of that kingdom is the only thing that can be central in the Spiritual Discipline of simplicity."

"Freedom from anxiety is one of the inward evidences of seeking first the kingdom of God. The inward reality of simplicity involves a life of joyful unconcern for possessions."

"If what we have we receive as a gift, and if what we have is to be cared for by God, and if what we have is available to others, then we will possess freedom from anxiety. This is the inward reality of simplicity."

The Outward Expression of Simplicity: 

"Every attempt to give specific application to simplicity runs the risk of a deterioration into legalism. It is a risk, however, that we must take..."


1. Buy things for their usefulness rather than their status.
2. Reject anything that is producing an addiction in you.
3. Develop a habit of giving things away.
4. Refuse to be propagandized by the custodians of modern gadgetry.
5. Learn to enjoy things without owning them.
6. Develop a deeper appreciation for the creation.
7. Look with a healthy skepticism at all "buy now, pay later" schemes.
8. Obey Jesus' instructions about plain, honest speech. "Let what you way be simply 'Yes' or 'No'; anything more than this comes from evil" (Matt. 5:37).
9. Reject anything that breeds the oppression of others.
10. Shun anything that distracts you from seeking first the kingdom of God.

Richard Foster further explains each of these outward expressions in his book, if you're interested.

Quotes from Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster

Sunday Notes

Notes from a Sunday sermon.

ASK.
"Humble persistance is what will transform your heart and mind to be more prayerful.
 - Pastor Kevin

SEEK.
When prayer and movement go hand in hand, the reality of the kingdom begins to happen around us.

Just begin moving.

KNOCK.
Faith.

Being a disciple of Jesus is not a reasonable thing to do. But it's radical and beautiful. Be persistent in your faith.

Prayer | My One Wild Word

I have been practicing a way of prayer I learned from Jan Richardson's book In the Sanctuary of Women. She calls it One Wild Word. She asks God for one word that comes from her deepest of longings when she can't' seem to find the words to pray.

I tried it on a work day last week and searched for my deepest longing to pray from throughout the day. I came up with "Forward." But I realize now it was a word that came from my personal addiction to productivity. I tried to justify that prayer by telling myself, "I want to move forward in my walk with God." It's a silly prayer really because it's not like we can move backwards ever, even when it seems like it. We're always, always moving forward in some way. Learning, experiencing, trying again. I lost track of that "Forward" prayer anyway as I got busy with my tasks and responsibilities.

So yesterday I stopped searching for my word and just asked for it. Communion. It seemed so simple but it brought tears to my eyes because it's what I long for in every way. Communion with God, first and foremost. Communion with my husband, my sons. Communion with my friends and coworkers and with the people I communicate with through my work. It's what I long for other people as well...that they experience community in some amazing way. It's what brings joy and fulfillment and what sharpens us and changes us.

The more I realized what this word meant to me the more I was able to pray it fervently and honestly. And I remembered it. It was what came to my mind every time I started to feel something throughout the day. I felt hurt by something Shane said. Communion. I felt regret for words I said. Communion. I felt embarrassed by my childish tendencies. Communion. I felt joy for my sister's new start in a new home. Communion. I felt a desire for a home of our own someday. Communion. I felt affection and pride for my adorable little boys. Communion. I felt excitement for seeing friends we haven't seen in months. Communion. I enjoyed hot cider and a fire on a chilly night. Communion. I felt relief when laughter healed wounds. Communion.

It was a word-companion throughout the day, and the Holy Spirit knew every meaning and desire behind that word. It was a new day for me because I experienced the discipline of prayer not as a discipline really at all. It was so natural and fulfilling as I experienced each segment of the day to its fullest. It was of way of drawing near to God that wasn't hard for me. I felt like a child on God's knee throwing fits, feeling confused, being safe, glad and thankful. It was not always happy, but I wasn't alone.

When you wake up, ask God for one word to carry through your day. And when you sense a change in the moment of any kind, good or bad, say a prayer with that word. See what it teaches you and how it centers you.