Sacrament of the Moment

I love coming across and learning different ways people apply spiritual discipline in their lives. This is a section from the Mama:Monk blog, a guest post by Debby Bellingham. It resonates with what I'm desiring and learning on this journey.

"Jean-Pierre de Caussade in his book Abandonment to Divine Providence says becoming holy (his word – we might use the phrase to live fully in the Kingdom of God) is to “make a sacrament of the present moment.”

A sacrament is nothing but a common thing made holy by inviting God to be present in it. Common bread and wine are made a sacrament when we use them as reminders of Christʼs sacrifice for us. Water becomes a sacrament when it is used as the means of marking us in baptism. Bread, wine, water, in themselves are not holy. Consecrating them, asking God to use them or to meet us in the use of them is what makes them holy.

Your life may not seem holy, but every moment of your life can become a sacrament when you invite God to be present in it. Such awareness and activity will constantly connect you with the God of your life. Your goal, right? You want and need to live connected with the God who loves you.

Recognize that in each and every moment of your life God is giving you himself. Take this NOW and receive Godʼs love.

Your common, everyday life – work deadlines, feeding your family, conversations with friends, keeping your house – these are the NOWs in which God wants to meet you. He hides himself in these.

'The reason I speak to them in parables (hides himself in the commonalities of life) is that ʻseeing they do not perceive, and hearing they do not listen, nor do they understand…But blessed are your eyes, for they see, and your ears, for they hear.' Matthew 13:13,16

You are blessed because you seek God by faith, not by sight. The blessing of finding God hidden in every moment of your life requires practice. More tomorrow."

Prayer | My One Wild Word

I have been practicing a way of prayer I learned from Jan Richardson's book In the Sanctuary of Women. She calls it One Wild Word. She asks God for one word that comes from her deepest of longings when she can't' seem to find the words to pray.

I tried it on a work day last week and searched for my deepest longing to pray from throughout the day. I came up with "Forward." But I realize now it was a word that came from my personal addiction to productivity. I tried to justify that prayer by telling myself, "I want to move forward in my walk with God." It's a silly prayer really because it's not like we can move backwards ever, even when it seems like it. We're always, always moving forward in some way. Learning, experiencing, trying again. I lost track of that "Forward" prayer anyway as I got busy with my tasks and responsibilities.

So yesterday I stopped searching for my word and just asked for it. Communion. It seemed so simple but it brought tears to my eyes because it's what I long for in every way. Communion with God, first and foremost. Communion with my husband, my sons. Communion with my friends and coworkers and with the people I communicate with through my work. It's what I long for other people as well...that they experience community in some amazing way. It's what brings joy and fulfillment and what sharpens us and changes us.

The more I realized what this word meant to me the more I was able to pray it fervently and honestly. And I remembered it. It was what came to my mind every time I started to feel something throughout the day. I felt hurt by something Shane said. Communion. I felt regret for words I said. Communion. I felt embarrassed by my childish tendencies. Communion. I felt joy for my sister's new start in a new home. Communion. I felt a desire for a home of our own someday. Communion. I felt affection and pride for my adorable little boys. Communion. I felt excitement for seeing friends we haven't seen in months. Communion. I enjoyed hot cider and a fire on a chilly night. Communion. I felt relief when laughter healed wounds. Communion.

It was a word-companion throughout the day, and the Holy Spirit knew every meaning and desire behind that word. It was a new day for me because I experienced the discipline of prayer not as a discipline really at all. It was so natural and fulfilling as I experienced each segment of the day to its fullest. It was of way of drawing near to God that wasn't hard for me. I felt like a child on God's knee throwing fits, feeling confused, being safe, glad and thankful. It was not always happy, but I wasn't alone.

When you wake up, ask God for one word to carry through your day. And when you sense a change in the moment of any kind, good or bad, say a prayer with that word. See what it teaches you and how it centers you.

Tired of Discipline

I've procrastinated coming back to this blog to start actually "dialoguing" with myself all that has been in my head over this subject of spiritual disciplines. I haven't had any revelations or conclusions, so this post might be all over the place.

I'm having a hard time wanting to make room for the spiritual disciplines in my life, but maybe that's how it's supposed to be right now. Perhaps God is not allowing room because if I was able to find a nice little routine of spiritual discipline (praying, meditation, studying, etc.) I might just get comfortable and think this is what it's about. It might actually make me lazy in my communion with God. Maybe He is asking more than quiet time and routine pieces of my life . Of course He is.

The last couple of months I've been contemplating whether I even like the idea of spiritual discipline any more. I'm a little annoyed that "Spiritual" is a category in our lives. My belief is that everything is spiritual and there is no reality separate from that. I'm annoyed by the phrase, "It's a God thing" and I'm annoyed by how we categorize life and put "spiritual" in one bucket like God just pops in for the party now and then so we don't forget about Him. I want God to be in and with all of me everywhere, all the time. It's weird trying to fit Christ into my lifestyle. Christ should be my lifestyle.

BUT, as a human, that's very hard to do. Since my brain is not in perfect working order and my heart not in complete surrender all the time…I can see how the disciplines can train our minds and sync our beliefs with our actions.  But I do not have much desire during this season of life to fit those disciplines in. Shouldn't communion with God be a more natural moment-by-moment all-day activity?

Here's the thing: If Jesus were with me right now, would I even ask him about spiritual disciplines? I would feel like such a Pharisee for trying to discuss them with Him! Jesus doesn't talk about spiritual disciplines! No, here's the thing: Jesus is here with me. If that's the one thing I can get into my thick head and it stays there, I may not need to intentionally practice the other spiritual disciplines. They might just show up anyway because they're a natural part of life with Jesus. I just don't know if fasting for the sake of fasting is worth it. Or if praying because it's that time of day again makes any sense. Or if putting a couple volunteer hours in a week for a cause really counts as communion with God. It might make me feel like I'm doing my part and being a good person, but am I really in communion with God because I do those things? I know many have found the disciplines valuable. But ideally I see them being more common rather than set apart. I'm tired of Jesus being an idea that sits on a pew or goes down to the homeless shelter to serve a meal once a week. This is what I'm tossing around lately. I haven't been blogging, but the subject matter is there.

If I get time, I would like to try to write something on the most recent chapter I read from The Celebration of Discipline on the discipline of simplicity. It so appeals to me, not as a discipline though; as a lifestyle. Maybe that's what Richard Foster is getting at anyway.

Prayer | Days 33-41

My coworker shared this poem with my department on Tuesday that seemed to go along well with this blog and what I'm learning/working on. I can't forget why I'm on this journey in the first place. It isn't so I fully understand the disciplines and perfect them. I just want to deny my self-serving and unhealthy habits that only push me away from God.

I'd like to end the prayer section of this blog reflecting on a few key points I've learned about prayer.

• Foster advises to not make prayer complicated but to come to the Lord as a child to her Father in honesty and humility. Seeing prayer this way gives me peace.
• Pray for others. All the time. God's compassion in us drives us in prayer. Foster says if we dread praying for someone then don't. He will give the assignment to someone else with compassion for the person or circumstance. We are not necessarily called to pray for every thing that is before us that needs prayer. I recently felt an overwhelming amount of emotion when reconnecting with an old friend and looking through her online photos. I felt so much a desire to pray for her, so I did. When I shared this with her in an email she messaged me back with a piece of wisdom I have never heard: "Let the emotions flow like tears. Intercession doesn't always mean there is a great need to address but it also means there is a great and deep communion to be had."
• What she said is exactly what I had been realizing about prayer. Prayer is communion. It changes lives and circumstances, but mostly it changes us because we are in communion with our heavenly Father.

Prayer | Days 19-32

I am slow to put my goals into practice. I am slow to accomplish items on any to-do list unless it is easy or quick. That being said, I've barely scratched the surface of my goals listed in the last blog (I at least have a prayer box now) and feel like I've only dipped a toe in the ocean of disciplined prayer. I might take Richard Foster's suggestion of reading a whole other book on prayer because there is too much to fit into his one chapter. Perhaps I should do my own Scriptural study on prayer. Honestly, I don't really want to and it seems kind of silly to some extent.

I guess what bugs me about the exploration of prayer (whether my own exploration or someone else's) is that it can turn into such an intense separate subject that it detracts from the key message/goal which is God Himself. I don't want to study prayer. I want to draw closer to God and know Him more. Prayer is just a way of doing that and seems simple enough without having to study it, for crying out loud. Jesus' example of prayer is so perfectly simple and all encompassing ("Our Father who art in heaven..."). Yet, He spoke with God so regularly I would hardly call it prayer. I would call it communion. Is that what prayer is? Then why is it important for me to make prayer a distinct discipline when it should be a common integrated part of my life? In my mind, prayer should not even be a word. Communion makes most sense. It's what takes place when two come together and converse. A lack of conversation is almost impossible with my husband on a daily basis. So shouldn't a lack of conversation be almost impossible with the God who lives inside me? The times when I lack conversation with my husband is when we are on bad terms with one another. We don't desire to be with one another when we've hurt or misunderstood each other. Thankfully God does not do wrong or misunderstand me. It's a one-sided issue when there is an issue. Which means I have the ability to draw near again to him when I confess and submit. And if confession and submission are daily then I stay in communion.

Communion. When I think of prayer in this way, I desire it. I see God sitting with me as I thank Him for the meal. I feel His arm around me when I cry in despair for a hurt loved one. I see Him nod in understanding when I'm frustrated with violence and injustice.

God, I long to experience communion with you all day every day. Help me to never face an hour without speaking and listening to you. You ARE near. I just sometimes forget You're with me and walk away from You. Please help me remember. Brand Yourself on my heart so I know forever I'm Yours.
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A side note: I unplugged our TV for Lent. My days feel suddenly longer and I'm playing with more toys and reading more books and washing more dishes. :)


Another side note: I think I've made small forward steps in my communion with God. I'm asking for guidance more before I pray. I love the practice of listening to Him before jumping into prayer.